The Monroe Legacy - G.3. Chapter 20 - Slipping Through My Fingers

If Gray slept any better in the year which followed it was only because he was too exhausted to stay awake any longer. Between Flynn's cries, Lillia's shrieking gaggle of friends, worry about Casper and his dreams it was a wonder that he got any sleep. 

Rachel looked just at tired and they were talking more seriously about selling the restaurant, though it had long been their dream the funds would allow them to send Casper to a school where his needs would be met, they could both work shorter hours too if they worked for somebody else.

The decision was made for them when a celebrated European chef moved to the city and approached them offering more money that they had dared hope for. By the time Flynn turned one the paperwork was final and Gray and Rachel were saddened but quietly relieved. The restaurant had been like their fourth child and just now they could barely handle three. Rachel picked up a breakfast shift at a local brasserie whilst Gray was interviewing for a couple of head chef jobs at upmarket restaurants.

Their new flexibility had partly been set up with the idea that they could help Eva with childcare and enable her to go to college part time, but Eva had other ideas. When Rachel brought up some Afternoon classes and her availability to babysit, Eva kindly but firmly refused.

'Flynn is my son and I want to teach him what he needs to know. I don't want to be one of those teen moms who lets their parents handle everything.'

Rachel shrugged  'Eva you're a great mother and Flynn is a wonderful boy but you deserve more than a high school diploma and endless play dates.'

Eva smiled fondly at the woman she had come to view as both a mother and a best friend.

'I know I do Rach, and I'm not giving up on me. Hayden gave me two good things; Flynn and the idea that I can do better than community college. I'm studying while Flynn naps, every day I learn more and realise how much more I'm capable of. Once Flynn is in school, I'm going to go to an Ivy League College, I'm going to chase a dream that I didn't even know I had until it was threatened.'

Rachel could see the steel and determination in the young mother's eyes, not even 21, Eva had dealt with more than most people did in a lifetime and she was so strong, she hoped that her children would grow up to be as courageous as their big sister.

Lillia certainly wasn't a shrinking violet, every day she seemed to become more popular, the play date requests were  constant but Gray found that his daughter refused most of them, she rarely socialised without the Flowers in attendance. 

When his daughter returned from her first unsupervised shopping trip, an eleventh birthday treat with Rachel on standby in the coffee shop, he was staggered by the change effected by a day and a hundred dollar gift card.

Gone was the little girl who had brightened up his dark moods when Eva was missing. Gone was the big-sister lookalike who wanted nothing more than pink stripes in her hair and to play soccer every day.

This Lillia was a beautiful teenager and a complete stranger to him. Standing slightly self-consciously between her chattering, giggling friends she looked for a moment like she would rather be anywhere else, her shoulders tight and her eyes flickering from side to side. As Daisy began to talk about some cute guy at the mall, Rose nudged Lillia unintentionally and the mask snapped back down. The threesome were soon tucked up in their customary places on the sofa and chattering away as only teenage girls can, everything bright, exciting and wonderful.

Gray wondered if he'd ever see that quiet, sweet natured girl again or whether this sparkling, larger than life character was who his daughter had always been waiting to be.

Gray hoped that maybe a little of Lillia's social ease would rub off on Casper but if anything the constant presence of the Flowers in their home seemed to cause the shy child to keep more to himself than ever. Gray and Rachel tried to make him as comfortable as possible, limiting Lillia to hosting her friends once a week and continuing to build the structures that Casper's behaviourist insisted would help him learn to manage his obsessive behaviours and feel secure in social interactions.

Sometimes they felt as if they had turned a corner, he would come willingly to dinner and voluntarily talk about his latest potion idea or something he'd noticed at school (while quiet he was very perceptive). But the next day he would get frustrated with not being able to find the book he wanted or find himself in a situation at school he didn't understand and then he would shut down, withdrawing to the comfort of Tia's company and his books.

Casper's move to Oakfield Prep school in the Autumn helped in some ways, the class sizes were small and they had tutors who had worked extensively with autism spectrum disorders as well as the academic faculty. Casper's intelligence was quickly spotted and found space to flourish here, he also loved the fact that everyone was in uniform and it was like Harry Potter!

After a term, Gray was a little disappointed that Casper hadn't made any friends, or even mentioned any of his classmates by name. Rachel kept reminding himself what their doctor had said, there was no "cure" for Casper, no linear path for improvement or change, he was a perfectly normal kid who found different things of value and different things intimidating from his siblings. It wouldn't do to measure him against anyone else's ideas of success and failure, he'd create his own rules.

For now they could celebrate that Casper would reach his academic potential and that he was continuing to bond with his family. These things alone were a huge triumph.

Despite the financial stability that selling The Lonely Cactus had brought them, Gray and Rachel missed that restaurant. The new owner had changed the name, refurbished and although it stood in the same place it always had it was no longer the place they'd dreamed of. Rachel had ideas to become stakeholders in the little bistro she was now working at but Gray felt as if he had to secure the children's futures before he could decide what was next for him. Eva was already a woman and a mother and Lillia was growing so fast. Even Caspar seemed to be an old head on young shoulders and the time had come to plan for them first and himself second, running any kind of restaurant was crazy difficult.

Gray had though that choosing his heir would be impossible, as if he were choosing a favourite but actually in the end it had been simple. His mother had told him that she hadn't struggled in the end, he'd never believed her but now he understood. There was one of his children who would both benefit the most from the legacy and who needed it most. One who would use this opportunity and this challenge to see themselves more clearly.

As Eva's 21st birthday was approaching he decided to wait on the announcement, she'd had so many milestones missed or overshadowed by other events that she deserved the day to herself. Even little Flynn was well-behaved and quiet as they sang and lit the candles.

After thinking a while on her wish, Eva made it, hoping only for happiness and success for her and her son. Later that night she walked out in the garden alone, she couldn't escape the feeling that everything was going to change now. She was an adult, she had a son, it was terrifying but also exciting. 

Eva was so caught up in her thoughts that the voice from the gate made her jump.

'Hey. Happy Birthday Evie.... You haven't changed at all.'

Her heart racing she turned slowly and locked eyes with Hayden. Eva felt those old butterflies stir even as she strode towards him, jaw set and eyes blazing.

'What the hell are you doing here.'

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Read on in Chapter 21 - This Wonderful Mess We've Made